BALANCE IN MOTHERHOOD IS IMPOSSIBLE BUT THIS ISN'T
Balance In Motherhood Is Impossible,
But —> This isn’t!
My daughter loves unicorns and she recently asked me if unicorns were real. My reply was a little vague because I was trying not to dull some of her sweet youthful innocents or tell her a lie…
“Well, honey I’m not sure? I haven’t ever seen one, but I haven’t seen a lot of animals that are real so maybe?”
She pondered over the answer and I could tell it still left her with just as much questions as she had before I gave her my response, but she was satisfied enough for the time being. Later on I though about things we chase and cling to as adults that probably aren’t real either…like the imaginary idea of actually finding balance in Motherhood, marriage, career, and just life in general.
I have spend so much energy and time trying to master just the right habits or self discipline to reach that imaginary state of balance, but always end up short. Whether it’s the sink full of dishes that never makes it to the dishwasher, the unfolded laundry on the couch, a school project put together the night before it’s due, or even forgetting to focus on myself for a few minutes that day there is always something that’s out of balance in my life.
I recently heard an awesome podcasts that really opened my heart to this truth.
—-> God never called us to be balanced. Instead this is what he says our lives should reflect.
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:
2 a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
3 a time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
4 a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
5 a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
6 a time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
7 a time to tear, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
8 a time to love, and a time to hate;
a time for war, and a time for peace.
For EVERYTHING there is a season and I believe that truth is for Motherhood too!! There are times in Motherhood when all of our focus is just keeping a newborn baby fed and alive. There are other seasons when we are juggling toddler life with older sibling school life. There are seasons when you and your spouse can actually spend quality time together and then there are times when you cherish each other in the comings and goings of the crazy.
I feel like trying to find balance in seasons of Motherhood that just can’t be balanced, only distracts us from being the best we can for what needs our main focus in that season. So, instead of trying to find balance do this instead…
Focus on the tasks with the most value or what needs your most attention in that season instead of giving equal time to each tasks trying to create balance.
How to apply this concept to Motherhood..?!?
So, are you thinking…”How am I supposed to know the value of each task over another?”
The best way for me to really see the value in all the tasks I am trying to balance is to write them down on paper. Make a list of 10 things that you feel are important or that you focus time each day on. Once you have all 10 written down go back and number your list 1-10 with 1 being the most valuable and 10 being the least valuable.
Visually seeing your tasks labeled numerically on the page will help you to get a clearer picture of each tasks value compared to the others. Most people spend the majority of their time on 1-3 because that normally includes these things…marriage, kids, and career. Depending on the order they are in validates their importance to you.
Look at the items you have listed in the 7-10 sections. Are those really even items that you should be focusing on? Some habits are hard to break and they can follow us from a previous season to the next without us even realizing it. I want to encourage you to really think about what you have on 7-10 and if it’s something you can stop giving time to in the current season. This doesn’t mean you won’t ever come back to it but it will give you much needed mental clarity and peace knowing it’s one less thing you have to be responsible for.
Examples of items that might be listed on 7-10 could be
Volunteering at your child’s school
A certain hobby that is really time consuming
Certain friendships that are really demanding of your time
Spreading ourselves too thin doesn’t bring balance into focus. It actually makes our efforts less effective or meaningful.
I hope this new approach to Motherhood and understanding how certain tasks need specific amount of your energy in certain seasons helps you to bloom into the best version of YOU in every season of Motherhood.
God’s time is always perfect and if you have a dream or passion on your heart but the current season your in doesn’t allow you to push towards that goal…don’t give up friend! There is a perfect season just for that dream or passion that God has planned out for your life. Stay close to God and he will direct your paths!
