PERFECTIONISM DISGUISED AS "MOM GUILT"
Perfectionism Disguised As “Mom Guilt”
Perfectionism... it’s the game I loose 9 out of 10 times as a Mom, but even still it’s the hardest habit for me to break!
Growing up as the oldest child I had a lot of pressure on me to set the example for my siblings. When I would fail or come up short I would turn to food. Emotional eating for me was relief and peace in that moment from the stress or anxiety attack I was experiencing! I was trying to eat away my guilt of failure or not doing enough!
No wonder I developed stress/anxiety induced shingles the winter of my 8th grade year! I had put unrealistic expectations on myself and when I didn’t live up to them the vicious cycle would start.
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As I became an adult this cycle just got worse and it eventually followed me into Motherhood. Trying to keep up with perfect Pinterest Mom can almost kill you... let me tell ya! I never thought of myself as a “perfectionist” though. I thought I was just someone who was strong willed, determined, self motivated, and enjoyed doing things correctly the first time.
Does that sound like any of the same feels you have?!?!
When my babies were born I didn’t realize I was having anxiety from perfectionism issues. I would blame my feelings on “Mom Guilt” or the need to be with my kids every second of the day to avoid becoming a bad Mom. I drove myself crazy with the unrealistic standards I had set for myself as the Mother I thought I was supposed to be.
Perfectionism + babies 13 months apart with a 4 year old daughter adjusting to siblings...
NO WAY is that combo realistic to the standard I had set for myself and it drove me to consistent weekly anxiety attacks after I would realize I wasn’t meeting those crazy unrealistic standards! I have always been up for a good challenge, but giving all of myself to my kids, housework, and other duties eventually wore me down and I didn’t like the person I was becoming.
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You might read this and think... she’s nuts! Lol Well, I was...🤣
But, back then I wasn’t focused on the damage I was doing to myself, I was only focused on being all and doing all for my kids. Taking all of the responsibility on my shoulders, and ending up overwhelmed every time, thinking that was the best version of me for them. When your going through the hard stage of early Motherhood and feel all of the pressure to be the “best” mom and do ALL THE THINGS the joy of this season can fade really fast and “Mom Guilt” over the things you didn’t get accomplished can haunt you. At least for me it did!
Thankfully... Now, when I start to head back into old habits of perfectionism and start getting stress headaches or “Mom Guilt”, I know to stop, reevaluate the situation and what I actually can do in this moment and season!! I choose to release my stress through my work outs instead of accidentally snapping at my kids or biting my husband’s head off (not my proudest moments).
The things my kids want most from me is quality time not the handmade this or handmade that so I have chosen to tell my “perfectionist” nature to BACK OFF and I will do what I can and let go of the rest! This season, this age and this moment is meant for me to enjoy and not stress about what didn’t get done.
So, here I am... make up worn, mentally worn, and ready to release some stress so I can be better for my babies! After all that is the closest to “perfect” as I will ever get! 💜
